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    结疤

      有些事情,不谈开就是个结,谈开了就是个疤。
      每天早上睁眼首先想到的是一个人,随后的一天想到的还有伴随这个人的复杂家庭关系。想到的这个人是让我开心的人,想到的事实让我痛心的事。我很想坦然的释怀这种复杂的事情,但是事实却一直让我挣扎在纠结的十字路口。我想,无论什么事,明天就会过去的。但是第二天的某个时段自己却又不争气的想起让自己痛心的片段,试图在每次都想释怀,但不知道是巧合还是有意安排,我总能发现一些东西从而联想到不该想到的事情。
      坐在她的车里,大脑自然而然的就进入的电影一般的画面,她坐在副驾驶,他开着车,有说有笑,有打有闹,当自己回过神来发现的确是截然相反的画面,她开着车,不时的对我傻笑,我坐在副驾驶,皮笑肉不笑。
      玩她的手机,过去对于设置密码的东西我很好奇,现在对于设置密码的东西我很惧怕。好奇打开的结果就是痛心的他们过去发的短信。看到短信,我那种想忘记的事情油然而生,只好看看手机报调节下心情。
      去她家接她,原来我总是停她家门口,因为我极度想引起他父母的注意。现在,我却远远的躲着楼旁边,默默的等她出来。因为距离越近,越让我浮想联翩,幻想他们一家人加上他高高兴兴的出来进去,他如同孩子一般在她们家里。这种欢快的场面只能更加衬托出孤单甚至有点凄凉的我在一旁寂寞的看着。原来那种讨好她父母的心情,现在变成了不知道怎么样的心情。
      我很希望在她那里能删除掉所有能让我遐想的东西,有时候事与愿违,看见那些相关联的东西我只能默不作声。我怕因为这些东西争吵,为了他我吵够了,也烦够了,我只想他能消失,但是他怎么消也失不了。如果走到了好的哪一步,我又该怎么面对这个人呢?现在想的这些东西都会变成现实,我也不想让她左右为难,为什么用心的爱情维持起来这么难?如果爱情只是两个人的事情,那我应该是最幸福的,可惜这之中掺杂着太多的关系,太多的原因,造成了太多了困扰,我真想睡一觉之后就忘记今年发生的事情,可惜我忘不了,只能继续坚持这不是两个人的爱情。

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    Vennuswrote:
    Sept. 11
    松君 付wrote:
    Sept. 11

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